My Life as a Boob

Adventures in comedy, child-rearing and combinations thereof.

Triathlon training update: just when you thought I’d whimped out… April 24, 2009

Filed under: family life,fitness,health — jennywynter @ 6:00 am
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So my lack of posts lately is not an indication that I’ve flaked out on my training regime, quite the opposite, I’m happy to say!

I’ve actually passed a pretty significant milestone this week, in that I’ve gotten to the point where I actually crave exercise. No kidding. CRAVE it. I’m not at a place where it’s replaced my chocolate cravings, but I sure am eating a lot healthier overall. I’d like to think that the fact I’m still allowing myself the odd sugary indulgence is just proof that I’m into this lifestyle change for the long haul and thus am investing in my ability to sustain it without having to resort to massive falling-off-the-wagon binge sessions.


I really think a massive part of me actually keeping this things up is twofold:

1) Having a goal to work towards. Just ‘getting fit’, ‘getting into shape’ or ‘losing the baby weight’ just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe in the short term, but none of these are sufficient motivation to really get my act together in any sustainable way. But a triathlon, a challenge that I’m not even sure I can do? Let’s just say I’m realising more and more just how short-term goal oriented I am. As a friend and fitness fanatic said to me: “This is just the beginning. You’ll do this one triathlon, sure, but then you’ll be looking for the next race and the next and the next.” Here’s hoping!

2) The variety involved. Cross-training is the bomb. In fact, it’s the bomb of the ‘where have you been all my life?’ kind. The fact that you HAVE to alternate your exercise program every session, so as to prepare your different muscle groups for the task ahead is right up my alley. I get bored too easily, so having something different very single day to look forward to is awesomeness incarnate.

I can now comfortably swim the 500m in just over ten minutes – I have no idea whether this is even remotely impressive to anybody else but it is to me, having only recently been unable to even conceive of whether I’d be able to swim that distance in the triathlon at all. Now it’s the part of the race I’m at least confident in knowing I’ll complete without collapsing! I’ve also started trying to walk more with the kids to places – the other day Master Boob took the car to work so I piled Littlest into the pram, Little Mister onto his bicycle and Little Miss onto her scooter and we all headed into town and back, a 4.5 kilometre trek all up. As if that’s not miracle enough, we made it without any tantrums. Miracles happen, people.

And…I joined the local gym. Only for a month – and only because they were holding a promotion that really was too good to resist. Otherwise I wouldn’t do it – I hate the gym with a capital ATE. But knowing it’s just for the short-term, I’m actually quite enjoying the variety it brings to my week. And you know, that work out music. There’s nothing quite like hearing “I drove all night” with a nightclub-on-steroids type beat.

So yeah, we’re about nine weeks out now from D-Day. Aside from an anxiety dream I had the other night where it was race day and I’d forgotten my wet-suit, my bike and my running shoes, it’s all looking rather sunny from this end!


Comedians vs Reviewers April 18, 2009

Filed under: comedy — jennywynter @ 6:09 am
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So I’ve been depriving myself of further sleep not thanks to my little 8-week old Boob, but to keeping tabs on the far away Melbourne International Comedy Festival back home in Oz. Specifically, I’ve been rather interested in this debate here, that being whether comedians are too sensitive: i.e. they can ‘give it but not take it.’

I’m straight away reminded of an encounter I had with a reviewer (at least I think I did – the commenter on my particular post on the subject refusing to identify himself), where I found out that reviewers really don’t like being reviewed. The irony that a reviewer could ‘give it but not take it’ is not lost on me here!

Now so much has been written on the subject, I want to at least try to keep my thoughts brief:

– I agree that reviewers are not only valuable to comedians, they are absolutely necessary to draw bums on seats. I don’t really think there’s any comics out there who would want to ‘abolish all reviewers!’ are there?

– That said, I DO believe that comedy is completely subjective. Not everybody is funny to everybody and shock, horror: that’s OKAY. I might not like eating asparagus, but it doesn’t mean that I demand its removal from society. (Okay, so most reviewers don’t demand this of comics they don’t enjoy, but the review I reviewed did indeed suggest – very mean-spiritedly in my opinion – that most of the comics that night should throw in the towel). My point is, comedy is subjective and a good reviewer – whether they themself adored the show or not – needs to take that into account when communicating a particular show to their readers.

– THUS…I think reviewers should at least be reviewing shows they have a chance at liking. Yes, their job is to present an accurate picture of the show – for better or for worse – so as to inform their readers as to whether or not this is a show for them. It would seem only fair then, that they themselves should be an accurate representative of that comedian’s target audience. Just as a punter is only likely to check out a musical comedy show if they know they’re into the genre, so too should reviewers be checking out things they at least MIGHT like, to best put themselves in the shoes of the average audience member.

– And, for the record, I actually DON’T think that open mics should really be reviewed at all. Really? Really. All new comics suck. They have to. It’s part of the deal you have to go through to get good. EVERYBODY SUCKS AT FIRST. I really don’t see the point in going along to an open mic night to review it IF your only intention is to slaughter. Because of course you’ll be able to (see above point referring to suckage). Okay, so there’s some who might say that there’s valid criticism to be found in said reviews that can help comics – perhaps that’s true on rare occasion, but more often than not I think the negative reviews are less informative or helpful and instead are just…well, nasty. I mean, check out the Tim Minchin review which inspired a song in his latest show. Its criticism could hardly be seen as constructive, am I wrong?

– Finally, on this whole ‘are comedians more sensitive than others?’ issue: I call BS. Comedians are human beings. Human beings are sensitive. I don’t know of one person who actually enjoys being criticised.  I’m not talking criticised as in “here’s how you could do things better” but criticised in terms of “you suck”. (Well okay, there is one, but he has serious issues.) So if comedians need to harden the heck up – which may indeed be true – then it’s only because we all do.

That is all.


Rocking out in the Rockies April 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennywynter @ 4:30 pm
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Ah, Bow Valley. I have missed you to be sure. When we left here you see, it was at unbelievably short notice, with Master Boob having scored a teaching job just south of Calgary and due to start in a few days, we literally got the phone call in late August and started packing up the house a couple of hours later. As we digested the sudden end to this chapter of life, we took the kids to the soccer field and kicked a ball around – I stared up at the amazing mountains which had been our backdrop now for a year (as it turns out, to the DAY that we moved south) I felt a real pang of sadness and even anxiety as to whether we were doing the right thing.

Fast forward seven months or so and it turns out that we most certainly did. The construction industry here, which when we arrived was booming so strongly that Master Boob was able to pick up rather well-paid work in which they even trained him on the job, has since collapsed. Companies have declared bankruptcy, 800+ jobs (or so I’ve been told) in the industry have disappeared and shock…horror…tradespeople are actually advertising for work. In short, if we had stayed here, we would have been completely financially screwed.

But we now are in the very privileged position of being able to return here as our home away from home. Catching up with beautiful sights and beautiful people. Thus our Easter break has pretty much comprised visiting friends, sharing lunches, brunches and everything in between, not one, not two, but FOUR separate easter egg hunts, an Easter kids’ party in Banff, playing Texas Hold Em at nights with the odd breastfeed thrown in for good measure.

I am so utterly delighted at how cruisy Littlest Boob is, such that we can embark on holidays, travel trips and the like with him perfectly content to adapt to wherever we happen to be. Rock. One of the things I love most about the newborn phase. Ooh, I’m savouring it this time around, that’s for sure: I ain’t wishing away nothin!

Tomorrow Little Mister Boob is going to his preschool buddy’s house for an eagerly anticipated all-day playdate, while Master Boob, Little Miss, Littlest and I will be heading up the mountain for what will in all likelihood be our one and only snowboarding session of the season. Master and I shall take turns manning Littlest B in the lodge, while Little Miss will be skiing with us all day I suspect. We woke up this morning to the fastest falling snow we’ve ever seen in our whole time in Canada – the timing could not be better!

Hopefully the only shrieks echoing down the canyon tomorrow day-time will be accompanied by limbs flailing with elation, not pain.


I’m having the time of my life April 10, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennywynter @ 6:19 am

Ooooooh boy. I’m enjoying a rather well-lubricated (for a post-pregnancy lady currently high up in the mountains) trip down Nostalgia Avenue.

Please join me.


Bliss to be remembered April 8, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennywynter @ 5:01 am

I remember years ago, being at my friend Carina’s house, where we were hanging out with our respective kidlets, she having just popped out number three. “Ah,” she said (or perhaps not, but I love recalling conversations full of emotional noise.) “I feel like this is the most blissful I’ve felt, like THIS is the way I idealised being a mother to be before I had children.”

And now, with my third one now seven weeks and one day old – oh how it flies – I have to say I completely agree. Weirdly enough, given that we have NO family here in Canada and not a whole lot of on-the-ground support, it speaks volumes to note that this is by far the easiest time I’ve had of parenthood thus far. Not the least reason of which, is because of my amazing daughter, or as I like to call her “Mini Poppins.”


Her age, combined with her genuine love of all things bubbafied, have made my life an absolute dream these past few weeks. I can actually shower, cook, clean, dress, even occasionally brush my teeth – thanks to this muppet who not only is happy to take Littlest Boob in arm at any given opportunity, but ACTIVELY SEEKS SUCH OPPORTUNITIES OUT. In fact, one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced in this whole adjustment thing has been the constant battle of explaining to Little Miss B why she can’t hold him every second of the day and why her mammary glands are just not gonna cut it.

But what a great problem to have.

Little Master Boob is equally enamored with Littlest, but seems a lot happier to give him personal space, which is fortunate really, as it’s one less thing for him to compete over with big sis. And besides which, he fuels almost all of his affection these days into the dog, who he completely adores (which is lucky, because poor puppy’s been a bit neglected since bubba’s arrival – don’t get me wrong, I’m awesome at the feeding/watering/walking combo, just my affection-metre is kinda maxed out by the end of the day).

It’s so nice to be able to write about how much my kids rock. Because in the midst of the daily grind, it is all too easy for me to forget that and simply focus on all the negatives about them. But here, in the blissful peace and quiet of late evening and its sleeping bodies, it’s so refreshing to relive the day through a calm, happy lens and realise all the goodness they bring.

Hopefully I can read over this in future when I’m having a mummy moment of the yucky kind.

Quote of the day:

Little Miss: “I don’t like this lunch, Mummy!”

Me: “Why not?”

Little Miss: “Because it tastes like the stove!”


Gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to change April 7, 2009

Filed under: family life — jennywynter @ 5:08 am
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I’m coming out of the economic closet and hereby confessing that I have never understood economics at all. Not even close. BUT…I do understand that as a result of recent changes, jobs seem to be going out of fashion, people are therefore less inclined to spend their cash and as a result, nothing is stable. Or rather, I now understand that these things are actually going to affect our family directly.

Oh yes.

Big decisions to be made.

Yet I’m not only feeling calm and positive, I’m actually truly excited.

A side effect of being totally addicted to change, methinks.


Burning: Throats and Out April 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — jennywynter @ 10:27 pm
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We’ve all gotten the bug this week, including my dear Littlest Boob. Bah. Anyhoo, a trip to emergency and a few days of pretty much an all-you-can-eat-boob-buffet later, he seems much improved. As do I, except for this killer sore throat that just refuses to leave like a drunken relative at a wedding. Bring in the bouncers, damnit.

I’ve been determined to try to do at least SOME exercise every day regardless, even though I have – as a result of this sickness – toned it down quite a bit from the original plan. Namely because I read somewhere in this book “Triathloning for Mere Mortals” that if you’re going to err on a side of effort, err on the side of “less”. i.e. don’t overdue it, push yourself too hard, or try to do too much too fast, or you’ll either burn out or injure yourself. Perhaps even both. Better to do a tiny bit each day and sustain it than do tons and then give it up.

Unfortunately the lazy side of my persona just loves that rationale so much that I fear I’m in danger of the “hey, this isn’t just me relaxing, eating popcorn and drinking a slushie…this is me NOT BURNING OUT.” Ooh boy, please, any words of butt-kicking, encouragement and combinations thereof will be hugely, hugely welcome.

So today I went for my longest (and fastest) bike ride yet – it’s such a gorgeous day I just couldn’t resist. That’s the thing here in Canada; you just don’t know whether the days that follow might fall back to beyond freezing, so when the weather is beautiful, you actually appreciate it. Inconceivable.

Alright. Off now to gargle some lemon drink. It was gonna be lemon and honey, but I still need to do groceries. Aye aye aye!!!